I've returned from from Chicago with baby oxytosin coursing through my veins, along with probably a lot of booze and day-glo orange cheddar and caramel popcorn. Nutritious, no? My friend's baby was beautiful, adorable, completely huggable and so sweet. The visit was far too short, but was just delicious.
I'm feeling sort of panicky, (can one be just a little panicky?) about losing weight, about being in rehearsal 5 days a week, working and not having time to work out, go Christmas shopping or hey, doing some blogging. Jumping back into the swing of things, I weighed 10 (!!!) pounds heavier than when I left. I know that wasn't really accurate since we had been on a weird flying schedule and then my cycle started. So I think by next Tuesday I'll be at a more accurate weight.
My schedule begs the question "Take a break from losing weight?" I know that mentally I need to take the pressure off of myself. It's so disheartening to post a gain - it is even more disheartening to even just see it on the scale, privately. I haven't even been on the scale since Saturday. I have planned my meals, I am exercising on the weekends, and that is all I can do. However, there are cookies in the office, and my director brought in dessert, and there were chips and cookies and fruit at the theater - I don't do well abstaining from everything. And when I eat it, I think - why are you making this so important? Why are you eating something that you know is not a good choice? And I know the answer is simply because I want to. I want the taste. I want to participate in the social aspect. I want to eat what tastes good, and not face the consequences. I want to think that eating healthfully 90% of the time deserves to eat something not so healthy. And I'm eating small quantities of the bad stuff - but still, I think there is something inherently wrong with putting something in your mouth and then feeling guilty about it. When I am exercising regularly, I can eat things that are not "on plan" and still see lower numbers, so I'm having trouble changing that habit. The answer? Don't eat it. That's been 50% of my problem my whole life, so why is it so hard for me practice it?
This rambling entry brought to you by the fear of gaining 20 pounds in December. And it doesn't help that I hear "Oh, people always gain weight during the holidays, don't worry." I don't want to undo everything I've done. Blah, blah, blah, make better choices, I am capable of success, and I need to stop whining about a rehearsal schedule because I put myself here! This whole acting experience is stretching me like crazy, which is a post for another day. Now I'm off to eat my healthy lunch - a chickpea curry and a salad. And no cookies!
Showing posts with label Dieting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dieting. Show all posts
12.03.2008
11.19.2008
Chicago, here we come!
Tomorrow we're headed out to Chi-Town (33 degrees with snow flurries - fun!) 1) for Mr. Black's cousin's wedding (I love being a wedding guest!) and 2) so I can hug and squeeze one of my dearest friends, and hold her beautiful baby girl for 48 hours. I'm very excited as the baby is about 8 months old - not so old that she can crawl away from me, but old enough that she won't sleep 17 hours a day. I plan to teach her the phrase "I love Aunt Sara" while I'm there - I'm sure she'll get it in no time. Neither Heather or Teale were able to meet with me this trip, which was a bummer, but we're going to make it happen the next time I'm out that way.
And I must confess, along with baby squeezing, I want to do some big eating while I'm there. Midwest steak dinner? Sign me up! Chicago-style pizza? Yes, please. And oh how I love going out for breakfast. Is this a smart plan? Not really, because I know myself. I know that being on vacation is sometimes a trigger to my brain to stop eating smart portions and counting calories. I also know very well that when I return home and I step on the scale and if I see myself way above 220, I'll feel deflated, disappointed in myself, and regretful. Are those feelings worth the taste of all that food? Definitely not! For the first time in my life, I checked to see if the hotel offers a fitness center. I'm taking my work out clothes, and hope to knock out some exercise in the mornings before hitting the town and lifting my fork. I have never even set foot in a hotel fitness center. Strange that this is the woman I've become. Will I be successful? I hope so. If I can return home with a minimal gain, or even better, maintaining, I'll be a proud, proud lady.
Have a great weekend! And cross your fingers I eat well. That means smart and tasty!
And I must confess, along with baby squeezing, I want to do some big eating while I'm there. Midwest steak dinner? Sign me up! Chicago-style pizza? Yes, please. And oh how I love going out for breakfast. Is this a smart plan? Not really, because I know myself. I know that being on vacation is sometimes a trigger to my brain to stop eating smart portions and counting calories. I also know very well that when I return home and I step on the scale and if I see myself way above 220, I'll feel deflated, disappointed in myself, and regretful. Are those feelings worth the taste of all that food? Definitely not! For the first time in my life, I checked to see if the hotel offers a fitness center. I'm taking my work out clothes, and hope to knock out some exercise in the mornings before hitting the town and lifting my fork. I have never even set foot in a hotel fitness center. Strange that this is the woman I've become. Will I be successful? I hope so. If I can return home with a minimal gain, or even better, maintaining, I'll be a proud, proud lady.
Have a great weekend! And cross your fingers I eat well. That means smart and tasty!
8.25.2008
CTFLC - Day One
Cracking the Fat-Loss Code
Alright gentle readers, here's a synopsis of how to the CTFLC plan works.
1. Your body burns carbohydrates in food for energy first
2. Your body burns glycogen (built up in your muscles from carbohydrates) for energy second
3. Your body burns fat only as a last resort
The author then adds that your body only wants to survive, so it cares not about what size your jeans are. Thus, when you give it less calories, it adjusts the amount of energy it uses to keep things functioning. The 8 week plan is designed to shake up our metabolism and change our body's direction for energy - making it choose fat, and not carbs. There is also an emphasis on exercise to develop muscle, because as we all know, more muscle means you get to eat more! I mean, we burn more calories, and hopefully, more fat.
There are several cycles of eating, all regulating the amount of carbohydrates you take in. The first week of the plan is called Carb-Deplete. One must consume less than 20 grams of carbs per day. I read through a sample menu plan and noticed the absence of fruit, and limited vegetables. Of course, no added sugar or alcohol. This week is the only week that is super strict. The menu has no fruit, and only lettuce, cucumber and broccoli for veggies. Also, making a protein shake with Crystal Light. This turned me off. Being fiber free is not good for me.
It is clear that a good point is being made in that we need to take in more protein to build muscle, and that if you reduce your carbs, your body is going to have to find alternatives. But I'm trying to keep my fiber intake up - moving things along makes a difference on the scale. And fiber = carbohydrates. For this week, I'm compromising.
My usual breakfast for the past few months included:
1/2 cup yogurt
1/2 - 1 cup fruit
2/3 cup of Smart Bran cereal
Soy sausage
Coffee with half and half
This equaled 12 grams of protein and 35 grams of carbohydrates. And, I would be hungry 2.5-3 hours later. I do think that the cereal was a bit to blame, and the sugar in the yogurt.
So this week, here's what I’m eating.
1 crust less spinach quiche
Soy sausage
Coffee with half and half
Which started my day at 20 grams of protein and 12 grams of carbs. And, I went a full 3.5 hours before I got hungry.
I made the Barefoot Contessa Lentil recipe for lunch - because my friend the lentil offers protein and fiber! I added chicken breast too. And then I passed on the mashed potatoes at dinner.
Most important to me is the satisfaction level for whatever I am eating. If it tastes good, and I'm not walking around feeling hungry, I'm a happy girl. So, I won't be following the fat loss code dieting plan. However, today I finished my day with 111 grams of protein and 99 grams of carbs. I never felt starving - just that comfortable it is time to eat now hunger.
My dietitian suggested eating protein before a workout, and that I should get 95 grams or higher per day. I think I will focus on keeping my protein levels up, and giving myself a challenge in the exercise realm. But this was good perspective, all the same. I think it would work for someone who needs a kick start, and is willing to follow menu plans, and stick to them. The author does allow for some wiggle room after the first week, offering a list of acceptable substitution foods.
But for now, I gotta do it my way.
Alright gentle readers, here's a synopsis of how to the CTFLC plan works.
1. Your body burns carbohydrates in food for energy first
2. Your body burns glycogen (built up in your muscles from carbohydrates) for energy second
3. Your body burns fat only as a last resort
The author then adds that your body only wants to survive, so it cares not about what size your jeans are. Thus, when you give it less calories, it adjusts the amount of energy it uses to keep things functioning. The 8 week plan is designed to shake up our metabolism and change our body's direction for energy - making it choose fat, and not carbs. There is also an emphasis on exercise to develop muscle, because as we all know, more muscle means you get to eat more! I mean, we burn more calories, and hopefully, more fat.
There are several cycles of eating, all regulating the amount of carbohydrates you take in. The first week of the plan is called Carb-Deplete. One must consume less than 20 grams of carbs per day. I read through a sample menu plan and noticed the absence of fruit, and limited vegetables. Of course, no added sugar or alcohol. This week is the only week that is super strict. The menu has no fruit, and only lettuce, cucumber and broccoli for veggies. Also, making a protein shake with Crystal Light. This turned me off. Being fiber free is not good for me.
It is clear that a good point is being made in that we need to take in more protein to build muscle, and that if you reduce your carbs, your body is going to have to find alternatives. But I'm trying to keep my fiber intake up - moving things along makes a difference on the scale. And fiber = carbohydrates. For this week, I'm compromising.
My usual breakfast for the past few months included:
1/2 cup yogurt
1/2 - 1 cup fruit
2/3 cup of Smart Bran cereal
Soy sausage
Coffee with half and half
This equaled 12 grams of protein and 35 grams of carbohydrates. And, I would be hungry 2.5-3 hours later. I do think that the cereal was a bit to blame, and the sugar in the yogurt.
So this week, here's what I’m eating.
1 crust less spinach quiche
Soy sausage
Coffee with half and half
Which started my day at 20 grams of protein and 12 grams of carbs. And, I went a full 3.5 hours before I got hungry.
I made the Barefoot Contessa Lentil recipe for lunch - because my friend the lentil offers protein and fiber! I added chicken breast too. And then I passed on the mashed potatoes at dinner.
Most important to me is the satisfaction level for whatever I am eating. If it tastes good, and I'm not walking around feeling hungry, I'm a happy girl. So, I won't be following the fat loss code dieting plan. However, today I finished my day with 111 grams of protein and 99 grams of carbs. I never felt starving - just that comfortable it is time to eat now hunger.
My dietitian suggested eating protein before a workout, and that I should get 95 grams or higher per day. I think I will focus on keeping my protein levels up, and giving myself a challenge in the exercise realm. But this was good perspective, all the same. I think it would work for someone who needs a kick start, and is willing to follow menu plans, and stick to them. The author does allow for some wiggle room after the first week, offering a list of acceptable substitution foods.
But for now, I gotta do it my way.
8.21.2008
Half-cracked?
I have a confession. I have succumbed to a weight-loss self-help book. I know, I know. I am so anti-DIET. Low-carb, no-carb, low-fat, no white food, cabbage soup, or pre-packaged meals - anything that is guarantees success, but isn't sustainable in the real world, is bad news bears to me. I can't eat one way for 6 months and then go back to eating another way, because I am a slow learner, and will throw my restricted calories out the window to make room for the pizza. So far, I have been determined to do it my way. Eating what I want (and sometimes saying no, even when I want to say yes), exercising, and finding support online. BUT. Two years later, and I'm stuck. I'm strong, I'm fiber-licious, full of vitamins, but also stuck.
Crack the Fat-Loss Code is designed to break plateaus in 8 weeks. (Cracking the code? This just screams late night infomercial!) And look at that, I have 8 weeks on my hands! There are menu plans somewhere near the end. Until I get to that point in the book, I've been reading about how my body needs protein and fat and carbs to live and function, blah, blah, blah. I am the worst person to read a self-help book. I learn in an aural style much better - however I am determined to understand this program. I'm cracking the code! I'm going to lose fat, I just know it! There are testimonials every 10 pages (okay, I've only read like 20 pages - but still, that's 2 testimonials already!) So it must really work, right? I hope I have not just jumped the track into diet crazytown. I don't mean any disrespect, CTFLC, I'm just a big old cynical girl, who needs your help. I admit I do feel comfortable since there are menu plans that I can cook for myself. I did have the good sense to check it out from the library - so I can just turn right around and drop it back off if it turns out to be a bunch of hooey.
Also at the library? Cookbooks! One can check them out, commit a few good ones to memory, (never photocopy, of course) and then return it. Brilliant! I work 2 blocks from the biggest and most beautiful library in Seattle, and I never go there. Shameful! That's all about to change.
So - here goes nothing! A weekend of cooking big (or healthfully portioned, I mean) healthy meals, exercising and cracking the code.
Crack the Fat-Loss Code is designed to break plateaus in 8 weeks. (Cracking the code? This just screams late night infomercial!) And look at that, I have 8 weeks on my hands! There are menu plans somewhere near the end. Until I get to that point in the book, I've been reading about how my body needs protein and fat and carbs to live and function, blah, blah, blah. I am the worst person to read a self-help book. I learn in an aural style much better - however I am determined to understand this program. I'm cracking the code! I'm going to lose fat, I just know it! There are testimonials every 10 pages (okay, I've only read like 20 pages - but still, that's 2 testimonials already!) So it must really work, right? I hope I have not just jumped the track into diet crazytown. I don't mean any disrespect, CTFLC, I'm just a big old cynical girl, who needs your help. I admit I do feel comfortable since there are menu plans that I can cook for myself. I did have the good sense to check it out from the library - so I can just turn right around and drop it back off if it turns out to be a bunch of hooey.
Also at the library? Cookbooks! One can check them out, commit a few good ones to memory, (never photocopy, of course) and then return it. Brilliant! I work 2 blocks from the biggest and most beautiful library in Seattle, and I never go there. Shameful! That's all about to change.
So - here goes nothing! A weekend of cooking big (or healthfully portioned, I mean) healthy meals, exercising and cracking the code.
1.08.2008
Tuesday - Week One in Review
Time for Healthy You Challenge 2008 Check in. First of all, the best part of this whole week has been meeting so many other kind, smart and powerful women! Having a circle of support, with a collective goal to improve their health, is so amazing. I'm so lucky!
Looking back on my 2008 goals, I see that I didn't do anything crazy, like resolve to not ever eat half and half again, so that feels good . One of my bigger goals, to log everything I eat into FitDay has been going well. It is so tedious, but I literally think - "how many calories do I have left?" before I am eating something. Sometimes it is too late, and I say "Oops" and move on, vowing to improve on the next day.
My other goal was to lower my caloric intake to 1600 per day. This has not been very successful. I'm not going overboard, but I do feel as though when I'm supposed to transition to 1500 calories in April, it will be very difficult. A huge non-scale victory (NSV) for me this week has been not beating myself up about going over in calories. Usually there is much flogging with a wet noodle and gnashing of teeth over having failed. This time, I am thinking of it as an experiment, to see if it will help me lose and if I can actually do it. Secretly I was hoping to be feeling faint, walking around weak with hunger, so I could rocket back up to 1900 calories a day, but no, I am hungry, but nothing that isn't manageable. Durn!
Also, I wanted to streak with Mel, an exercise streak that is, and exercise every day. This died yesterday when I emerged from the dentist chair and felt as though I had loaned my jaw as a punching bag. But again, beating myself up isn't going to make it easier. So I'm moving on.
My official weigh-in day is Thursday with Mel again, so I'll report what the scale saw. Keep on keeping on, everyone!
Looking back on my 2008 goals, I see that I didn't do anything crazy, like resolve to not ever eat half and half again, so that feels good . One of my bigger goals, to log everything I eat into FitDay has been going well. It is so tedious, but I literally think - "how many calories do I have left?" before I am eating something. Sometimes it is too late, and I say "Oops" and move on, vowing to improve on the next day.
My other goal was to lower my caloric intake to 1600 per day. This has not been very successful. I'm not going overboard, but I do feel as though when I'm supposed to transition to 1500 calories in April, it will be very difficult. A huge non-scale victory (NSV) for me this week has been not beating myself up about going over in calories. Usually there is much flogging with a wet noodle and gnashing of teeth over having failed. This time, I am thinking of it as an experiment, to see if it will help me lose and if I can actually do it. Secretly I was hoping to be feeling faint, walking around weak with hunger, so I could rocket back up to 1900 calories a day, but no, I am hungry, but nothing that isn't manageable. Durn!
Also, I wanted to streak with Mel, an exercise streak that is, and exercise every day. This died yesterday when I emerged from the dentist chair and felt as though I had loaned my jaw as a punching bag. But again, beating myself up isn't going to make it easier. So I'm moving on.
My official weigh-in day is Thursday with Mel again, so I'll report what the scale saw. Keep on keeping on, everyone!
12.31.2007
It IS a Wonderful Life!
Merry Merry and Happy New Year!! I’m back home, full of good food – too full, if you know what I mean. Spending the week eating and playing board games is my ideal vacation with the Momma, so I’m literally fat and happy. I’m back on the healthy path today – and so far my body hasn’t gone into shock since it hasn’t had bacon in 48 hours. I still get a little surprised that I can revert to my indulgent self so easily. My Mom loves to cook for us, and always makes sure there are snacks in the house, and I fall back into that routine of eating whenever. Cheese and crackers at 11:30 PM? Yes! Chocolate at 11:30 AM? Why not? Of course, I was aware of what I was doing, although my only redeeming efforts were walking the dog a little and making sure to get in two fruits in the morning. Sometimes I think that this lifestyle change will be like recovering from an addiction. Those tendencies to overeat will always be there, and it is up to me to not fulfill the desire by completing the action. I had hoped that that part of my brain would be turned off, but nope, it is still there, clanging for pork products and cheese. I am what I am!
Mr. Black surprised me with many lovely gifts, but the most touching to me was that he bought me 2 shirts and a pair of PJs. Now, Mr. Black is not your typical gift giver. He is always creative and romantic, and often goes with a theme of your hobbies or interests. I love this about him. I had hinted loudly how delighted I would be if he bought me a nightie. Nothing trashy, but something feminine. And it worked! He said that he wasn’t sure what size I am currently, since I had such a range of sizes in my closet. They are one size too large, but I love them. Just picturing him looking through my closet and then being watched by salesclerks, the effort he took to get these gifts to me was significant. And it was nice that he acknowledged my changing body and complemented it with new things! Also in the top 5 list, I got my stove top grill (cast-iron, so it will double as resistance training) and immersion blender that I was hoping for – so grilled marinated veggies and pureed soups are in our future.
Tonight we’ll be having our annual Craptastic White Elephant New Year’s Eve gift exchange. A bunch of friends come over, and bring the worst thing they can think of from their home. It’s gift wrapped, and then usual White Elephant rules apply. Truly horrific things come out – it is fantastic! I’m all about the funny so the more awful, the more funny, in my book. Last year, a bag-o-hair from a thrift store came out. Horrific and hilarious, I tell you. Luckily, the hair was thrown away, so it won't be reappearing this year. Who gives a bag of hair to a thrift store? And why did the thrift store put it out for purchase?
Did anyone else see the commercial with Valerie Bertinelli and how she is thrilled that this year will be the first year she wakes up on New Year's Day not thinking about her weight? That will be a wonderful day indeed. She got teary eyed and I did too. So happy New Year to you – I’m back in 2008 with goals and recipes and maybe even some resolutions.
Mr. Black surprised me with many lovely gifts, but the most touching to me was that he bought me 2 shirts and a pair of PJs. Now, Mr. Black is not your typical gift giver. He is always creative and romantic, and often goes with a theme of your hobbies or interests. I love this about him. I had hinted loudly how delighted I would be if he bought me a nightie. Nothing trashy, but something feminine. And it worked! He said that he wasn’t sure what size I am currently, since I had such a range of sizes in my closet. They are one size too large, but I love them. Just picturing him looking through my closet and then being watched by salesclerks, the effort he took to get these gifts to me was significant. And it was nice that he acknowledged my changing body and complemented it with new things! Also in the top 5 list, I got my stove top grill (cast-iron, so it will double as resistance training) and immersion blender that I was hoping for – so grilled marinated veggies and pureed soups are in our future.
Tonight we’ll be having our annual Craptastic White Elephant New Year’s Eve gift exchange. A bunch of friends come over, and bring the worst thing they can think of from their home. It’s gift wrapped, and then usual White Elephant rules apply. Truly horrific things come out – it is fantastic! I’m all about the funny so the more awful, the more funny, in my book. Last year, a bag-o-hair from a thrift store came out. Horrific and hilarious, I tell you. Luckily, the hair was thrown away, so it won't be reappearing this year. Who gives a bag of hair to a thrift store? And why did the thrift store put it out for purchase?
Did anyone else see the commercial with Valerie Bertinelli and how she is thrilled that this year will be the first year she wakes up on New Year's Day not thinking about her weight? That will be a wonderful day indeed. She got teary eyed and I did too. So happy New Year to you – I’m back in 2008 with goals and recipes and maybe even some resolutions.
12.12.2007
Weigh in Day
Well, color me pink! Tickled, that is. Today the scale saw 235.4! Apparently you can have a party with potato chips, peppermint bark, bacon and red wine and lose a little. I will never understand the science of weight loss. When I ate kale and white bean soup for a week straight trying to get to 50 pounds gone, nothing. This week, down 1.6. But the reality could be that because I indulged in forbidden fare, I compensated by reducing my calories at other meals. Who knows. I'll take it!
11.30.2007
da blues
Hi. I'm here, I'm just not bloggy. I'm so thrilled that Thanksgiving was a success, and I kept my promise to my husband that I wouldn't be a stressed out shrew. And I wasn't! I was organized and prepared and competent. Rock on! However, life continues in a not so joyous manner.
I'm dealing with a myriad of relationship issues. Sister in law who is feeling overwhelmed and vengeful, coworker with whom I literally share a workspace, who drinks on the job, and one issue between my husband and I that is taking a while to untangle. Many times I want to lay down and eat a burger and fries. Here's what I know.
- Food will not make me feel better (okay, sometimes, in the beginning of a big bite, it does, but ultimately, it doesn't) Can I admit that?
- Eating doesn't take away stressful feelings.
- Exercise will help release stress and ease my suffering.
Here's what I want, despite what I know:
- To spend days at a stress free workplace with sober coworkers,
- To spend my evenings laughing at happy hour
- To come home to a clean house and not exercise, and still lose weight or maintain my loss!
- To have thoughtful and meaningful conversations with sister in law
- To be celebrated
Oof. I know this will all pass, and it will work itself out. unfortunately there are no time outs in life. Even when you are feeling overwhelmed, life continues. You still have to exercise, eat healthfully, and go to work. I'm going to cruise my blogosphere and get some cheer and inspiration. Things to look forward to - going to a play Saturday night, making a rich beef stew on Sunday for our cool weather, and walking the dog.
I'm dealing with a myriad of relationship issues. Sister in law who is feeling overwhelmed and vengeful, coworker with whom I literally share a workspace, who drinks on the job, and one issue between my husband and I that is taking a while to untangle. Many times I want to lay down and eat a burger and fries. Here's what I know.
- Food will not make me feel better (okay, sometimes, in the beginning of a big bite, it does, but ultimately, it doesn't) Can I admit that?
- Eating doesn't take away stressful feelings.
- Exercise will help release stress and ease my suffering.
Here's what I want, despite what I know:
- To spend days at a stress free workplace with sober coworkers,
- To spend my evenings laughing at happy hour
- To come home to a clean house and not exercise, and still lose weight or maintain my loss!
- To have thoughtful and meaningful conversations with sister in law
- To be celebrated
Oof. I know this will all pass, and it will work itself out. unfortunately there are no time outs in life. Even when you are feeling overwhelmed, life continues. You still have to exercise, eat healthfully, and go to work. I'm going to cruise my blogosphere and get some cheer and inspiration. Things to look forward to - going to a play Saturday night, making a rich beef stew on Sunday for our cool weather, and walking the dog.
11.18.2007
recipes and such
I promised some recipes, and now it is already Sunday, and everyone has probably already planned their menus. But here are a few to save!
Alternatives to traditional recipes:
The ubiquitous Green Bean Casserole = 215 calories per serving, and 16.4 grams of fat
Green Beans with caramelized pearl onions = 89 calories per serving, and 2.9 grams of fat
2 TBS olive oil, divided
2 16 oz packages frozen pearl onions, thawed
1 TBS sugar
1 tsp salt
2 lbs. green beans
1/2 tsp black pepper
Heat 1 TBS oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Pat onions dry with paper towels, add to pan. Increase heat to medium-high, saute onions 5 minutes. Add sugar and 1/2 tsp salt, saute 15 minutes or until onions are tender and golden brown. Place in bowl.
Heat remaining oil in pan over medium-high heat. Add beans, saute 8 minutes or until crisp-tender. Add onions, 1/2 tsp salt, and pepper, cook 2 minutes or until mixture is thoroughly heated. I love this recipe, and make it several times a year.
Traditional mashed potatoes = 222 calories and 9 grams of fat - if you only use milk and butter - and don't we all sneak in a little cream or cream cheese on Thanksgiving?
Weight Watcher's Mashed potatoes = 132 calories and 0 grams fat
Boil your potatoes, and before draining, take out 1 cup of the starchy cooking water, set aside. When mashing, add in the water instead of milk and butter. I've done this several times, but I usually add butter, but not milk. You really can't taste a difference!
I'm hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year, and I am so excited! And nervous. I want to make something wowie-fantastic, but I don't want to go all Iron Chef and make everyone turn their nose up. So, here is our fat-laden, butter filled menu. I'm relying on portion control and sending leftovers away to keep me "safe."
Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Roasted Garlic and pancetta
Herb roasted turkey
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry Sauce
My Mom's sausage stuffing
Aunt Marcia's corn pudding (she's bringing it)
Elise's green beans with almonds and thyme
Gravy
Pumpkin bread pudding with caramel sauce
Dutch apple pie
Pumpkin pie
Ooof. We always have at least 3 desserts at family gatherings. And everyone can have a sliver of each, or a lot of each. I'm finally understanding why some people say Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday. You spend one day eating, and then 3 days off. Not too shabby.
Oh! I went back to Pilates on Thursday. There was a different instructor and he doesn't use the ball, so I didn't fall off of anything. Yay! I think if they want prisoners to talk, they should give up waterboarding torture, and make everyone do Pilates. Hard. But it hurts so good!
This week I may skip a few nights of exercise in preparation for Thanksgiving. Probably just Wednesday evening, and we must walk the Ding on Thursday so he doesn't spend the day begging and getting into trouble.
Happy short week to everyone!
Alternatives to traditional recipes:
The ubiquitous Green Bean Casserole = 215 calories per serving, and 16.4 grams of fat
Green Beans with caramelized pearl onions = 89 calories per serving, and 2.9 grams of fat
2 TBS olive oil, divided
2 16 oz packages frozen pearl onions, thawed
1 TBS sugar
1 tsp salt
2 lbs. green beans
1/2 tsp black pepper
Heat 1 TBS oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Pat onions dry with paper towels, add to pan. Increase heat to medium-high, saute onions 5 minutes. Add sugar and 1/2 tsp salt, saute 15 minutes or until onions are tender and golden brown. Place in bowl.
Heat remaining oil in pan over medium-high heat. Add beans, saute 8 minutes or until crisp-tender. Add onions, 1/2 tsp salt, and pepper, cook 2 minutes or until mixture is thoroughly heated. I love this recipe, and make it several times a year.
Traditional mashed potatoes = 222 calories and 9 grams of fat - if you only use milk and butter - and don't we all sneak in a little cream or cream cheese on Thanksgiving?
Weight Watcher's Mashed potatoes = 132 calories and 0 grams fat
Boil your potatoes, and before draining, take out 1 cup of the starchy cooking water, set aside. When mashing, add in the water instead of milk and butter. I've done this several times, but I usually add butter, but not milk. You really can't taste a difference!
I'm hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year, and I am so excited! And nervous. I want to make something wowie-fantastic, but I don't want to go all Iron Chef and make everyone turn their nose up. So, here is our fat-laden, butter filled menu. I'm relying on portion control and sending leftovers away to keep me "safe."
Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Roasted Garlic and pancetta
Herb roasted turkey
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry Sauce
My Mom's sausage stuffing
Aunt Marcia's corn pudding (she's bringing it)
Elise's green beans with almonds and thyme
Gravy
Pumpkin bread pudding with caramel sauce
Dutch apple pie
Pumpkin pie
Ooof. We always have at least 3 desserts at family gatherings. And everyone can have a sliver of each, or a lot of each. I'm finally understanding why some people say Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday. You spend one day eating, and then 3 days off. Not too shabby.
Oh! I went back to Pilates on Thursday. There was a different instructor and he doesn't use the ball, so I didn't fall off of anything. Yay! I think if they want prisoners to talk, they should give up waterboarding torture, and make everyone do Pilates. Hard. But it hurts so good!
This week I may skip a few nights of exercise in preparation for Thanksgiving. Probably just Wednesday evening, and we must walk the Ding on Thursday so he doesn't spend the day begging and getting into trouble.
Happy short week to everyone!
11.06.2007
Arrrrgh!
I am feeling frustrated again. The scale is showing me a gain of 3 pounds. How does this happen? It couldn’t possibly be the snacking and sweets, could it? I was reading in Diana's archives, and she wrote about relaxing her limits. And this line really struck me. “In the past when I would get on the scale and have a good week, I'd let myself slide. I'd think..oh this is working I can cheat a little here and there and it will still work. I was the master of self sabotage. If I exercised really hard and I saw a big change down in the scale, I'd "treat" myself to some ice cream or chocolate or an extra serving of something...." That is me in a nutshell. I made my 51 pound mark last Thursday and immediately lifted the sanctions on cheese, desserts and bread. I never went out of control, I never binged. I just allowed myself to eat them. Well, except for that Friday night when I was in a stressful situation – I continued past full, into nervous eating. I also stopped journaling. It surprises me (and at the same time, I know I shouldn’t be surprised) that the consequences are so swift. 3 pounds! I exercised like normal this weekend and even “made up” my missed Halloween exercise on Friday night. Can I get a pat on the back for exercising on a Friday? That was my rule for Katie when we started, no exercise on Fridays or Mondays. So okay, body! I hear you. No snacking like crazy after a loss. Grrr. Why must it take twice as long to lose, and we gain in an instant? Back to the sanctions…
11.02.2007
Wake Up Calls
A woman I knew once told me that she finally had a hard talk with herself about her weight. She was driving home from work, and having survived a trying day, she was going to "treat" herself to a McDonald's meal. She pulled into the parking lot, and then told herself, "You will always be fat if you don't stop this." And she left the parking lot, and said that was her epiphany, her wake up call. Man, that's an awkward conversation to have! To say this to myself makes me want to throw up. It is too painful, too honest, too raw to face. I avoid calling myself the f word to an extreme degree. Overweight, not skinny, heavy - these are the acceptable terms. Fat is mean, in my mind. And I've always avoided thinking that about myself. You can see that this works much in the same way as turning up your radio in the car, so you won't hear the noise under the hood. Very effective. This is also why I have never, ever, not even once watched an episode of The Biggest Loser. I hear it is inspirational and amazing, and would probably make me cry every time I watched. (They even had auditions here in Seattle, and a friend suggested I go - not in a mean way, but in a you would lose weight and be on TV! way) I think I avoided watching it because with all that inspiration would be a heavy dose of envy as well, it would serve as a reminder of my past failures.
And 51 pounds ago, I was so comfortable with my body. I accepted it, I felt that this was my destiny. I would fantasize about being thinner - but the point from A to B was always blank. I didn't know how to get there, let alone did I want to admit that I was the one who had gotten myself here. I thought that someday I would magically emerge at a healthy weight. Until then, I'll just let the airline and movie theater seats be uncomfortable. I'll huff and puff up the hills, and stay in my cocoon of a home where I am loved and feel safe. And eat my way over 300 pounds. So to realize this week that essentially, I have had that tough "You'll Always Be" talk with myself, is a good feeling. Even though I couldn't think that way, it just came in the form of committing to exercise 4 days a week, and by eating more healthfully. I was lucky to have a friend who wanted to exercise with me. And then I found Mel, and the rest is history. I deserve to be healthy, I am in control of being healthy, and I will eventually be the girl who walks with more confidence and shops in the "regular"section of the store!! This is it - the last time I'm going to do this.
11.01.2007
Weigh In Day
I’m a loser baybay…
I did it! Today my weigh in put me at 51 pounds gone!! I feel like that Molly Shannon character from SNL, I want to crow "I've lost 51 and I can kick and stretch and kick! I've lost 51!" I was standing on the scale praying please 240, please 240 and I zipped right past 240 and went straight to 239!! I was worried, because the pizza was calling my name yesterday and so I had my busy salad with 2 slices. 2! Egads! And then I didn’t really eat dinner – just some popcorn before the play, – high in fiber, but not very nutritious. I don’t usually eat like a stressed out supermodel, but I justified it for a couple of reasons. I honestly wasn’t hungry for dinner (listening to my body), but feared that if I didn’t eat something, I would come home at 10:30 and eat ravenously. And I have avoided popcorn all week – which is unusual for me. And, I am a grown up and if I want popcorn for dinner, I’m eating it! I’m on to normal and healthy eating for the upcoming week. But hello, 239! It is such an amazing feeling – like opening a really great gift or when I got engaged, the excitement and joy and dammit, I am PROUD. I went to work and immediately told anyone who was nearby – except my boss, because, well, that would feel weird to me. People are being generous and kind and really congratulating and celebrating with me. Which is lovely, and I have some other thoughts about the celebrating that that I need to arrange into something that doesn’t look like a monkey said it.
What a way to start November, with visions of 235 dancing in my head.
I did it! Today my weigh in put me at 51 pounds gone!! I feel like that Molly Shannon character from SNL, I want to crow "I've lost 51 and I can kick and stretch and kick! I've lost 51!" I was standing on the scale praying please 240, please 240 and I zipped right past 240 and went straight to 239!! I was worried, because the pizza was calling my name yesterday and so I had my busy salad with 2 slices. 2! Egads! And then I didn’t really eat dinner – just some popcorn before the play, – high in fiber, but not very nutritious. I don’t usually eat like a stressed out supermodel, but I justified it for a couple of reasons. I honestly wasn’t hungry for dinner (listening to my body), but feared that if I didn’t eat something, I would come home at 10:30 and eat ravenously. And I have avoided popcorn all week – which is unusual for me. And, I am a grown up and if I want popcorn for dinner, I’m eating it! I’m on to normal and healthy eating for the upcoming week. But hello, 239! It is such an amazing feeling – like opening a really great gift or when I got engaged, the excitement and joy and dammit, I am PROUD. I went to work and immediately told anyone who was nearby – except my boss, because, well, that would feel weird to me. People are being generous and kind and really congratulating and celebrating with me. Which is lovely, and I have some other thoughts about the celebrating that that I need to arrange into something that doesn’t look like a monkey said it.
What a way to start November, with visions of 235 dancing in my head.
10.31.2007
just some thoughts
Tomorrow is weigh in - and I think it is going to be good, judging by what the scale saw this morning. Despite my over-indulgent weekend, I think I'm going to see a loss, which thrills me. I haven't felt deprived - maybe those wall squats are burning things up at a voracious rate.
Triumph of the week - we had an all associate meeting yesterday, and the lunch room was flooded with pizza and Caesar salad. Every type imaginable. I could eat pizza once a week for the rest of my life and never tire of it. What's not to love? Bread, cheese and yummy toppings. Determined to not sabotage myself, I got out my busy salad, and ate it sans chicken, while only having one slice of pepperoni. I even dabbed up the oil with my napkin. I wanted more, but I stayed away. Yay, me! It helped that I had a dental appointment so I left the office without wandering back into the kitchen for more. I worked out extra hard in the pool last night too. Avoided today - candy corn and cookies. More yay.
We're going to a play tonight, and I'm fortifying myself in case we go out to dinner - must make good choices!!
Triumph of the week - we had an all associate meeting yesterday, and the lunch room was flooded with pizza and Caesar salad. Every type imaginable. I could eat pizza once a week for the rest of my life and never tire of it. What's not to love? Bread, cheese and yummy toppings. Determined to not sabotage myself, I got out my busy salad, and ate it sans chicken, while only having one slice of pepperoni. I even dabbed up the oil with my napkin. I wanted more, but I stayed away. Yay, me! It helped that I had a dental appointment so I left the office without wandering back into the kitchen for more. I worked out extra hard in the pool last night too. Avoided today - candy corn and cookies. More yay.
We're going to a play tonight, and I'm fortifying myself in case we go out to dinner - must make good choices!!
10.26.2007
Baker's holiday
Fall makes me want to bake like crazy. I make a mean cheesecake, but butter cakes are where it is at for me. And what about spice cookies? Last year I discovered Pumpkin Bread Pudding with caramel sauce. Soooo good. Ooh! And pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting! And apple pie, and oh wait, isn't this a weight loss blog? Sigh.
I will attempt Winter Squash Rolls this weekend. They look wonderful, but the shortening and sugar are not so good for the losing of the weight. I'm going to attempt to cut back on both and hope they are still tasty. Yeast proofing and I don't get along sometimes. I think I repel it with my neediness (please rise, please rise, I'll do anything, just love me!) but I'm going in confident this time! They'll also be a dry run to see if I can make them for Thanksgiving. Super fun!
I will attempt Winter Squash Rolls this weekend. They look wonderful, but the shortening and sugar are not so good for the losing of the weight. I'm going to attempt to cut back on both and hope they are still tasty. Yeast proofing and I don't get along sometimes. I think I repel it with my neediness (please rise, please rise, I'll do anything, just love me!) but I'm going in confident this time! They'll also be a dry run to see if I can make them for Thanksgiving. Super fun!
10.23.2007
Going crazy on the weekends
I’m weak I tell you, WEAK! The weekend comes and I am a different animal. Cocktails? Yes, please! Bacon-y-cheese dip? Why not? Making your husband get a pizza at midnight? Well, of course! Tis the season. You didn’t know it was dip season? No, it is the season of chilly evenings spent with friends, laughing, drinking and eating. My favorite things in the world! Throw some kisses in there, and you have one very happy girl.
There are some philosophies that encourage letting go on the weekend. I tend to follow this myself. The weekend brings a change in routine, a relaxing of limits. And by relaxing, I mean thrown out the window. A weight-watcher’s trick is when you attend a party, keep a glass of seltzer with a refreshing wedge of lime in your hands, and sip on it when you feel the urge to cruise the buffet table. Because lime and seltzer are as satisfying as chips and dip. I came so close to doing this, but I substituted the seltzer with vodka and lemonade. Vitamin C! I’m helping my body! Honestly, drinking aside, I did pretty well over the weekend. Who ate fruit and two scrambled eggs for breakfast? Me! Who worked out alone whilst nursing a mild hangover? Me! Who eschewed left over pizza for Baby Bok Choy and Broccoli stir fry? Me!
Who’s going to weigh in heavier this week? Me! Ah well, we must enjoy. And thank goodness for husbands who know better than to say “Are you sure you need pizza?”
There are some philosophies that encourage letting go on the weekend. I tend to follow this myself. The weekend brings a change in routine, a relaxing of limits. And by relaxing, I mean thrown out the window. A weight-watcher’s trick is when you attend a party, keep a glass of seltzer with a refreshing wedge of lime in your hands, and sip on it when you feel the urge to cruise the buffet table. Because lime and seltzer are as satisfying as chips and dip. I came so close to doing this, but I substituted the seltzer with vodka and lemonade. Vitamin C! I’m helping my body! Honestly, drinking aside, I did pretty well over the weekend. Who ate fruit and two scrambled eggs for breakfast? Me! Who worked out alone whilst nursing a mild hangover? Me! Who eschewed left over pizza for Baby Bok Choy and Broccoli stir fry? Me!
Who’s going to weigh in heavier this week? Me! Ah well, we must enjoy. And thank goodness for husbands who know better than to say “Are you sure you need pizza?”
10.02.2007
PSA of the Day
Yummy Snack - handful of roasted almonds, and one square of dark chocolate. Fiber, protein and antioxidants all at once. And quells the urge for a cookie or brownie or 4.
And turns out the Dairy industry wasn't lying when they said that adding low fat dairy products to your diet can help you lose weight. Our friend Dr. Oz did a study and showed the details on one of his specials, The Truth about Food. They took a gent and had him eat lots of low fat dairy for a week, then omit the dairy from his diet for another week. Turns out the components of the dairy products helped him excrete more fat. (They studied his poop - thank gawd I'm a Theatre Major) I'm adding low fat yogurt to my lunch this week. Proof that natural food is amazing, powerful stuff. We have what we need to succeed.
And turns out the Dairy industry wasn't lying when they said that adding low fat dairy products to your diet can help you lose weight. Our friend Dr. Oz did a study and showed the details on one of his specials, The Truth about Food. They took a gent and had him eat lots of low fat dairy for a week, then omit the dairy from his diet for another week. Turns out the components of the dairy products helped him excrete more fat. (They studied his poop - thank gawd I'm a Theatre Major) I'm adding low fat yogurt to my lunch this week. Proof that natural food is amazing, powerful stuff. We have what we need to succeed.
9.19.2007
Need
She is my constant companion, my eating partner, my other self. She smiles at me encouragingly when we pass the bagel and cream cheese platter in the break room. When I want some dark chocolate, we nudge each other and giggle. "Yes, let's!" she says. She nods sagely when I want a cheeseburger and fries saying, "Of course you need it. Today only." Sometimes we argue. I counter her advice with my reasoning. That actually, I don't need those things. I'm eating vegetables and fruit instead. When I am strong enough, she usually listens to me. And with pride I watch my portions, I plan meals and feel good. Then there is that one week of the month, when I'm in the shadow, and she's in the lead. She strides through the food court skillfully choosing the saltiest and most satisfying potato chips. At night she helps herself to the old portion size we used to take regularly. It still isn't enough. After dinner she opens and closes the cupboard and refrigerator doors in search of more, more and more. And I'm behind her silently willing her to stop, but feeling powerless, sometimes even justified. It's a period thing, it's unavoidable, it's only one week, and I'll go to the gym tomorrow excuses flutter around my brain while I'm searching for more to eat.
When we go clothes shopping, she is sheepish and embarrassed that she encouraged me all those times. And I remind myself that she isn't in control. I am. And the only way to smaller numbers on the scale is to eat healthfully. And keep my so called friend in the light, in perspective, not hidden away like a demon. I can only challenge her to stay with me on the long road ahead.
When we go clothes shopping, she is sheepish and embarrassed that she encouraged me all those times. And I remind myself that she isn't in control. I am. And the only way to smaller numbers on the scale is to eat healthfully. And keep my so called friend in the light, in perspective, not hidden away like a demon. I can only challenge her to stay with me on the long road ahead.
9.17.2007
If only it meant more bacon
Dr. Oz is on his gal pal Oprah's show tonight! A teaser showed eat more, lose weight. Now that's something I could get used to! Seriously, when I have been really "good" (I hate to label my behaviors as good or bad, but there you have it) or super diligent about my calories and ratio of fat - I lose very slowly. Then I get fed up and decide that I can splurge on a meal - and I eat 5 slices of bacon at breakfast. And whoop! The pounds fall off. There are theories galore about this. Your body conserves your calories as fat since you aren't eating that much, then when you give it roughly 400 calories of fat - there is a collective sigh that the famine is over, we can release the stored fat that we don't need, and voila - weight loss! And then there's the Atkin's theory. I'm sure the eat more, lose weight will include mostly upping your fiber and lean protein, and not lots of bacon, much to my chagrin.
Can I show you what I just spent hard earned money on? Bacon Flavored Salt! Oh lord this could be trouble... but deliciously dangerous trouble!
Can I show you what I just spent hard earned money on? Bacon Flavored Salt! Oh lord this could be trouble... but deliciously dangerous trouble!
9.10.2007
10 Daze
Oy! The FitDay Challenge over at Mel's is over. Hurray! I began to feel as though I were in competition with my body. Could I keep my intake under 2000 calories? Could I lose weight even if I didn't? Should I sit on my hands to keep me away from the candy? And most importantly, could I really be honest about what I was eating? And here's what I learned.
1. I go crazy with the calories on the weekends. (I already kind of knew this, but now it was in print proof)
2. I eat A LOT of fat. Wow. A lot.
3. I still hate journaling.
4. I love candy.
So I should lower the fat intake and my high fructose corn syrup snacks, and keep at it! Yes? I am 8 pounds away from hitting the 50 pound mark. So here's a goal - to be down 50 pounds by October 10th. And to not go so crazy on the weekends. Here we go!
1. I go crazy with the calories on the weekends. (I already kind of knew this, but now it was in print proof)
2. I eat A LOT of fat. Wow. A lot.
3. I still hate journaling.
4. I love candy.
So I should lower the fat intake and my high fructose corn syrup snacks, and keep at it! Yes? I am 8 pounds away from hitting the 50 pound mark. So here's a goal - to be down 50 pounds by October 10th. And to not go so crazy on the weekends. Here we go!
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