I am starting to wonder if my obsession with what the scale says is detrimental. I was so mindful this week - not just putting stuff in my mouth willy-nilly without thinking about what I'm truly eating. That's worthwhile, and I was talking to some friends about how I keep getting frustrated with what the scale does, and how I have this ideal that I either weigh 165 and be a size 24, or else weigh 450 pounds, as long as I'm a size 12, and neither the 2 shall meet. BUT - I am fitter and stronger than I have ever been in my ding dang life, I am full of good foods and good intentions. Again, I need to release myself from the guilt and feeling of failure. Obviously, my body is really, really happy at 216.4. I don't know if I can ever let go of the idea of weighing less than 200 pounds, and hitting that 100 pound loss mark, but I'm starting to consider it. Also, weighing a little more after I had a spectacular week of good eating and great exercise, means that I am not as upset as I could be, knowing that I didn't spend the week eating cheese and chocolate.
In the last few weeks being full of travel and busy work stuff, I haven't been around to support some other bloggers - I apologize - I'll try to make up for lost time soon.
Here's my meal plan this week. I'm sticking to it!
Breakfast - Lowfat plain yogurt, blueberries, FiberOne cereal
Morningstar Farms soy sausage
Coffee with cream
Lunch - French Barley salad (recipe here)
Half cup 2% cottage cheese
Dinner - Lima bean, corn and greens succotash
Tamale or grilled chicken, salsa
Snacks - cherries, plums, apple with peanut butter, hummus and pita
Tasty and doable, yes? Onward to a better week!
But now I'm a woman who has lost all commitment. Motivation? I've got it. (fertility, health, beauty) Tools to use? I know them all. Cooking skills? I can steam a veggie like nobody's business. And come up with wacky things that only taste good to me. Budget? Yes - I can afford both my gym membership, and weekly purchasing of organic produce. So what's the problem? I don't know. The only thing I can point to is the commitment. Committing to NOT doing stuff. Not putting the following in my body:
Really, those are the only 2 I struggle with. And every time I put those up there, I think everyone who reads that doesn't know me in real life is going to think I walk around with a wine bottle in my purse. I think focusing on the NOT is also a negative way to approach it. I should focus on committing to only eating the meals I plan. No extras. I'm reading Geneen Roth's Women, Food, and God to find out some other whys and hows. Current reaction: uncomfortable. She touches on some nerves, boy howdy. Operation lose a pound a week, I mean, committing to eating only what is healthful, is on. I think. If I can get it together.