And I must confess, along with baby squeezing, I want to do some big eating while I'm there. Midwest steak dinner? Sign me up! Chicago-style pizza? Yes, please. And oh how I love going out for breakfast. Is this a smart plan? Not really, because I know myself. I know that being on vacation is sometimes a trigger to my brain to stop eating smart portions and counting calories. I also know very well that when I return home and I step on the scale and if I see myself way above 220, I'll feel deflated, disappointed in myself, and regretful. Are those feelings worth the taste of all that food? Definitely not! For the first time in my life, I checked to see if the hotel offers a fitness center. I'm taking my work out clothes, and hope to knock out some exercise in the mornings before hitting the town and lifting my fork. I have never even set foot in a hotel fitness center. Strange that this is the woman I've become. Will I be successful? I hope so. If I can return home with a minimal gain, or even better, maintaining, I'll be a proud, proud lady.
Have a great weekend! And cross your fingers I eat well. That means smart and tasty!
Get back! Back on Track! Last night I walked the Ding, and even jogged a little. I will never understand runners. Bobbing along, feeling the weight of my hips and feet as I try to propel myself down the path – I did not receive an endorphin packed rush, nor the thrill of challenging myself. I felt only the drag of my 220 pounds and the sense that this is not the exercise for me, so I should stop being an imposter. Back to the gymnasium for me!
Hope everyone had a successful week.
Last night I returned home from rehearsal and felt hungry. Not bored, what can I eat, but tummy growling hungry. So I ate. Today I logged my calories into FitDay, and I only went over my calorie goal by 150 or so. That’s a relief. My director is not going to be helping my weight loss efforts much; she’s a mean baker and brought Apple Cranberry Crisp to rehearsal. With diced candied ginger. Oh, it was heaven. I took the smallest portion possible.
Forget getting yourself to the gym. Forget counting calories. Forget writing down what you eat. The hardest part about losing weight is choosing when to say no. As a baker myself, I know how nice it is to make something, feel proud about it, and then have people refuse to eat it because it has sugar and fat in it. So there’s the social side of me that wants to be kind, at war with the sensible side of me that wants to be healthier. And it’s apple crisp for chrissakes, not a Twinkie, it practically counts as a serving of fruit, covered in oats, cinnamon and sugar. This will be a test for me. How to get past wanting to say yes to every delicious thing that comes my way.
Good luck to everyone – hope you are having a delicious and healthy week!
Had my first rehearsal for the show on Sunday. It was hard work, and invigorating. We did a lot of character exercises that involved movement, and we were all sweaty by the end. 5 hours is a long time to jump and crawl and squat and run. Not every rehearsal will be like that, but I did feel better knowing that I got some movement in. And can I tell you how good it feels to be comfortable in my body – to know that I can squat and get back up, and I can run in place and not pray for the exercise to be over? I am physically stronger, but also more confident in my physical ability. Fabulous!
I’m feeling a little panicky about what my weight will do with my new rehearsal schedule. Essentially, I’m taking out my exercise time to go to rehearsal. And rehearsal won’t be all sitting around and eating – the director is very much the opposite, she likes to get us moving. What can I do to make sure I don’t gain 20 pounds in 3 months? The answer is simple, kind of a bummer, but necessary. No overeating. I have to stick to 1720-1750 calories a day – and maybe even less, if I’m going to maintain where I’m at now. I’m so glad that it will be so easy for me, as it is the holidays and all – there’s never any temptation to overeat during November and December. Yep, should be a snap. (Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!)
There is only so much room in one day, and it seems that most people I know, or read online, sacrifice their health first when facing a time crunch. Exercise is the first thing that I convince myself I don’t have time for when I am busy. Yesterday I had to rehearse from 1-6, then change clothes and meet friends for dinner at . I kept telling myself in the morning that I should do a 25 minute aerobic routine to justify eating beef burgundy for dinner. But, I spent the morning cooking, and taking the dog for a 30 minute walk instead. I feel better knowing that I've planned my meals, and will hopefully avoid the I'm-in -a-hurry-just-grab-a-burger pitfall. Also, since I won't be home in the evenings eating pounds of peppermint bark, it should be manageable. I've also considered working out on my lunch hour - which may prove necessary, but I'm reluctant to give up that time that could be spent learning lines or refreshing myself.
I got myself into this, and it is up to me to be vigilant and careful and dedicated to my body and my soul. And skip the eggnog lattes.
Then Mr. Black surprised me with a secret date to see John Hodgman, who was promoting his second book on complete world knowledge, More Information Than you Require. He's most recognizable as PC from the Apple commercials, or as a contributor on the Daily Show, so he regaled us with tales of being a famous minor television personality. This mostly involves being recognized on the subway of New York and then referred to as the chubby PC on blogs and the like. Some Pilates and some laughter, equals a great Thursday! Now, on to the weekend.
My only diappointment today is that California did not overturn the gay marriage ban. This is divisive cruelty. It breaks my heart to think that my brother and his fiance won't have the same rights as hetero couples. It makes me furious that if one of them should be in an accident, or land in the ICU, the other won't be allowed to see him. When I was in the hospital in 2007 for my gallbladder attacks, I was scared and in so much pain. It would have added to my stress level if Mr. Black couldn't hold my hand and tell me everything would be okay. Same-sex couples are creating families with love - it doesn't take anything away from your life to allow them to have access to their partners in the hospital, or to allow them to say proudly, that's my wife or husband. I would not consider myself a politically active person, but this is one subject that is close to my heart. Eventually there will be equality, that's all I can hope.
And now back to our regular exercising and eating well.
In health-related news, this past week, I would like a do-over, please. I was plagued by the most vicious cramps I have had in years. And I could not bear going to the gym, and challenging myself. Even though exercise is recommended for pain relief, I was just not feeling it. The most I could do was walk the dog, which I figure is better than sitting at home eating chips. I forced myself to go this weekend, and last evening. I felt a little like I was clicking the “undo” button on my body, hoping that those two work outs make up for a week of not exercising to my full capability, and indulging in leftover Halloween candy (foolish!). There’s no sense in beating myself up, it was a not so hot week, and I can’t go back, so I’m going forward. The scale greeted me with my old pal, 224 this morning. I equate that to my swollen womb, and probably a little candy. Here’s to a week candy-free, and work-out full!