9.28.2010

HYC Check In

I have been thinking about blogging a lot - I have posts in my brain that start, then get dissolved in daily life and other priorities. However, today I post a weigh-in. You can't tell that I've lost the 4 pounds I put on over the holiday weekend and then promptly flew to Denver to visit friends and had wine every night with no exercise. But I did! They're gone again. So, today I am up a tiny bit to 216.4. I touched down at 215.8 on Saturday, but then promptly took myself to a food festival. Greek! It was delicious, and worth every ounce I am now carrying.

I am starting to wonder if my obsession with what the scale says is detrimental. I was so mindful this week - not just putting stuff in my mouth willy-nilly without thinking about what I'm truly eating. That's worthwhile, and I was talking to some friends about how I keep getting frustrated with what the scale does, and how I have this ideal that I either weigh 165 and be a size 24, or else weigh 450 pounds, as long as I'm a size 12, and neither the 2 shall meet. BUT - I am fitter and stronger than I have ever been in my ding dang life, I am full of good foods and good intentions. Again, I need to release myself from the guilt and feeling of failure. Obviously, my body is really, really happy at 216.4. I don't know if I can ever let go of the idea of weighing less than 200 pounds, and hitting that 100 pound loss mark, but I'm starting to consider it. Also, weighing a little more after I had a spectacular week of good eating and great exercise, means that I am not as upset as I could be, knowing that I didn't spend the week eating cheese and chocolate.

In the last few weeks being full of travel and busy work stuff, I haven't been around to support some other bloggers - I apologize - I'll try to make up for lost time soon.