The end of the Plateau

While I was away from blogging – I had my usual annual checkup with my doctor, with blood draw. My docotor called me the next day and said “Are you tired? Your thyroid is low.” I immediately rattled off "No, I am pretty energetic and I rarely get tired and I’m just fine." Then I stopped and thought 'Well, except on the weekends when I get up, don’t eat breakfast, exercise, grocery shop, then eat, then start laundry – by 2 pm I’m ready to collapse.' Hmm, guess I’m not fine. When she said I needed to come in, get re-tested and most likely a prescription, I had a woe-is-me day, and mentally berated myself for years of not giving a flying fig about my health. I’m convinced that I broke my thyroid. That's helpful, isn't it? My lovely doctor said no you didn't, so I mentally moved on.

She gave me a prescription, and within the first month of taking it, those 3 pounds I’ve been losing/gaining in all of 2009 were gone. Oh, I love my thyroid med! Hooray! And I wasn’t so tired on the weekends. A little, but not like before. Awesome, am still in love with thyroid medication. Then I go in for my 8-week follow up in April. My levels are still not right. Apparently getting the dosage right is a very sensitve calibration, and can take a lot of tweaking. So we're playing around with the dosage, trying to see where I need to be.

The relief that I felt at finally knowing that my body was working against me in late 2008 and all of 2009, was tremendous. (Also, kind of embarrassing that I never thought anything was wrong with me.) I look back at last year's fiber goals and protein goals, and exercise goals I was meeting and trying my best to meet and I was still getting nowhere, except MAD. The frustration that I felt last year at getting nowhere on the scale led me to some lazy behavior about tracking food and saying no to sugar, which made things worse for myself. I know it wasn't entirely my little thyroid gland's fault that I got stuck, but this diagnosis has renewed my faith that I can continue to lose weight, as long as I realize that my body is pretty sensitive to what I put in it. More fuel, less junk!

HYC Check In

This week was a story about dedication. Both to exercise, and to eating copious amounts of cheese and sugar. I wanted a cheeseburger in the worst way this weekend. And after having been to the gym, donating blood, and purchasing a week's worth of healthy groceries, I convinced my husband that we needed to go out to the movies and dinner. I only ate half of my gorgeous melty cheese caramelized onion beefy sandwich that night - there's one good thing! But proceeded to buy 186 kinds of candy for the movies. So, I'm moving on (forcing myself) from the Red Tide munchies. Also, when your pants are too tight on Monday morning, it is pretty easy to remind myself why I shouldn't eat like that.

Dedication is going to the gym on a Saturday when you don't want to, and riding the bike AND doing my strength training, thankyouverymuch.

So now I'm going to be dedicated to my health this week. Less cheese and sugar, more good for me stuff.

Triumph - watered down

I acheived something difficult this week! And it turned me into a dry-mouthed speed talker who went on way too long. I was telling the most senior woman who oversees our office that I want a new job. Oh, it was not pretty. I was completely intimidated by her, even though she is a nice woman, I don't know her very well (mostly because she intimidates the hell out of me!). Compbined with asking for a position that does not exist - yet. I only think it is coming. In January, my company went through a merger of equals, so now we are doubled in size. My mind went reeling to where else I could work within the firm. I have been in my current administrative support position for 5 and a half years and there's no challenge here. Our work is cyclical and steady, no surprises. I like being in a support position, but I'm sort of craving to be responsible for my own thing, as well. In my former job, I juggled a lot of balls because we were such a small staff, so coming here was a relief in that it was well-run office where everyone treats you like a grown-up, and you get to just do one job, not 5. Also, I share my position with a very unreliable, immature woman who takes 1-2 unplanned personal days a month. To run errands. Don't get me started on her - but suffice to say, I disagree with how management has reacted to her behavior.

Anywhoee, big boss lady confirmed to me that she doesn't even know if that job will exist yet. She asked me to be patient, and to consider that things may be happening in a few months, even if it doesn't happen now. (I'm looking for the secret message in that). Not the slam-dunk I was hoping for. No words of encouragement that of course, you'd be perfect for that - we'd love to see you apply. The position I want (Office manager - but with a little more responsibility) will likely go to an incumbent who is doing a similar thing now.

But a pat on the back to myself for asking for what I need, yes? Scary - but now it is out there. It was really cool to just do it instead of sitting here at my desk wishing I had done something. Now I have to tell my boss that I want to move to another part of the company. Yikes. No wait, I can do it!

HYC Check in

Last week my husband and I were struck down by the plague – we ate something bad, or I kissed a sick baby one too many times. In any event, we had 12-14 hours of not being upright, and had to share one bathroom. Which is just as fun as it sounds. My husband said “Our house looks and smells like Cambodia” – no offense, Cambodia. When we surfaced, we were convinced we would never eat anything ever again. But sure enough, I'm back on food. Today I am eating normally and weighing in at 217.6 – down 2.4 pounds since last weigh-in. Hooray! I'm looking forward to getting back to my gym routine this week.

This week will mark my first week at trying to stick to 1600 calories a day. Oh wait, what does Yoda say? Either you do, or do not, there is no try. Either I’ll stuff my pie-hole, or I won’t. Yesterday I had a delectable three-course French meal for the Seattle Restaurant week promotion. So I'm not off to a great start - but one day does not make you fat. Right? Right. Hope everyone else has a great week.

HYC Check In

This week earned me a B+, I'd say. Steady work outs, again only twice with the strength training, and too much sugar. Enough with the dessert already! Birthday eating and Easter did me in. I made a delectable cheesecake that my family was too full to eat much of, so I took it into the office - and kablooey, it was gone in a matter of hours. Hooray! My goal this week is to try to live at 1600 calories. When I look back at my days of success, this seemed like the level at which I can consistently lose, and not feel like I'm starving. Eating well isn't hard, it's just so darn time-consuming. I'm having a dinner party this weekend, and well, 1600 calories doesn't seem reasonable. I still marvel at my ability to justify eating more than I should. I know all the mantras - one day of overeating isn't what makes me overweight, its never stopping those days, and that eating more than I should won't feel as good as eating right, and other sensible yet annoying phrases. I know that I will someday be the gal who can eat without measuring every bite. Oh, I can't wait to meet that girl! Here's to a 1600 calorie week - it's worth it, it's worth it, it's worth it.