I've spent two weeks enjoying the ride. My less saturated fat, more whole grains, staying off the scale ride. Only a little bit of self-sabotage surfaced. (Still? Really?) The part of me that starts to think that if I stop weighing in, I can also stop thinking about what I'm eating. Whee extra peanut butter! But this defeats the purpose, yes?
I read an interview with Jeannette Fulda, on her memoir "Half-Assed". In it, she mentioned that when she was in a plateau, she had to enjoy the work she was doing for health's sake. Oh right, that health stuff. I have suffered few physical effects of my weight, while the emotional toll is far greater. While the scale was trumpeting my increase in weight, my self esteem was going down the drain. I felt as though I was losing 2 pounds, gaining one back, and losing my confidence, gaining some guilt and losing my motivation. Not so much fun. These past two weeks have been a good experiment for me. I'm still cooking wholesome food, sticking to my exercise routine, and today I enjoyed the first sunny day we've had in weeks. I'm also considering embroidering on a sampler that doing all things good for my body, even if the scale isn't moving, these things are still worth doing. My scale is now away on a shelf, waiting for when I'm ready. I don't know when that will be. Until then, I find myself channeling Mr. Jagger and getting myself to remember sometimes you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.