Oh Valentine's Day. The hype, the horror, the fun. Hearts are my favorite symbol. Ever. When I was a little girl I figured out how to write the capital B of my last name, so that it looked like a heart tilted to the right. Posters of hearts adorned my walls, I drew them everywhere - I have about 735,000 pendants in that shape - and they get worn on a regular basis. I am a giant walking heart! Naturally, Valentine's day has always felt like my holiday. And I would be disappointed each year when I didn't have a valentine. Dumb.
And then I met Mr. Black. Romantic to the core, he actually asked me to be his valentine (we'd been dating since January), and burned me a CD complete with an illustrated sleeve, and published a valentine for me in the local newspaper. And of course, everything was given to me when I woke up, in a gesture so touching, as I drove to work listening to my mix tape of love songs chosen for me, I bawled. It was terrifying to receive sincere kindness and affection in a gigantic wave like that. I think after dating losers who didn't make me feel like the prettiest and best gal in the room, it was hard for me to accept that I deserved to be spoiled. The big girl in me was crying out to be loved, and when it happened, it was overwhelming.
As our relationship has continued, we have both resisted the big Hallmark sell. We don't buy flowers because what a waste of money this time of year! I get red roses for other reasons. And we don't have fancy and expensive romantic dinners- because I'd rather do that just because. We make each other a card, and do something we both enjoy. Usually we go to see a comedy show, but this year, we're going to see my new favorite gay boyfriend, Mika. And festive attire is requested. What the hell does that mean? We are going to be the oldest and straightest people there, and I won't care because "Big Girl (you are beautiful)" is the best work out and sing a long song I have heard in a long time. I'm going to shake my 230 pound butt like crazy and sing out loud and thank my lucky stars that I have Mr. Black to love. Not just today, but for always.