It IS a Wonderful Life!

Merry Merry and Happy New Year!! I’m back home, full of good food – too full, if you know what I mean. Spending the week eating and playing board games is my ideal vacation with the Momma, so I’m literally fat and happy. I’m back on the healthy path today – and so far my body hasn’t gone into shock since it hasn’t had bacon in 48 hours. I still get a little surprised that I can revert to my indulgent self so easily. My Mom loves to cook for us, and always makes sure there are snacks in the house, and I fall back into that routine of eating whenever. Cheese and crackers at 11:30 PM? Yes! Chocolate at 11:30 AM? Why not? Of course, I was aware of what I was doing, although my only redeeming efforts were walking the dog a little and making sure to get in two fruits in the morning. Sometimes I think that this lifestyle change will be like recovering from an addiction. Those tendencies to overeat will always be there, and it is up to me to not fulfill the desire by completing the action. I had hoped that that part of my brain would be turned off, but nope, it is still there, clanging for pork products and cheese. I am what I am!

Mr. Black surprised me with many lovely gifts, but the most touching to me was that he bought me 2 shirts and a pair of PJs. Now, Mr. Black is not your typical gift giver. He is always creative and romantic, and often goes with a theme of your hobbies or interests. I love this about him. I had hinted loudly how delighted I would be if he bought me a nightie. Nothing trashy, but something feminine. And it worked! He said that he wasn’t sure what size I am currently, since I had such a range of sizes in my closet. They are one size too large, but I love them. Just picturing him looking through my closet and then being watched by salesclerks, the effort he took to get these gifts to me was significant. And it was nice that he acknowledged my changing body and complemented it with new things! Also in the top 5 list, I got my stove top grill (cast-iron, so it will double as resistance training) and immersion blender that I was hoping for – so grilled marinated veggies and pureed soups are in our future.

Tonight we’ll be having our annual Craptastic White Elephant New Year’s Eve gift exchange. A bunch of friends come over, and bring the worst thing they can think of from their home. It’s gift wrapped, and then usual White Elephant rules apply. Truly horrific things come out – it is fantastic! I’m all about the funny so the more awful, the more funny, in my book. Last year, a bag-o-hair from a thrift store came out. Horrific and hilarious, I tell you. Luckily, the hair was thrown away, so it won't be reappearing this year. Who gives a bag of hair to a thrift store? And why did the thrift store put it out for purchase?

Did anyone else see the commercial with Valerie Bertinelli and how she is thrilled that this year will be the first year she wakes up on New Year's Day not thinking about her weight? That will be a wonderful day indeed. She got teary eyed and I did too. So happy New Year to you – I’m back in 2008 with goals and recipes and maybe even some resolutions.

No Weigh in Day

Hello and Merry Merry! I'm with my Mom and away from my scale! So Merry Christmas to me, I'm not weighing in this week. I'm certain I'm up, and that's okay. We're indulging in all manner of goodness, namely prime rib, Cougar Gold, wine and Godiva. I love being home! My niece and nephew invaded today, so Swedish fish and gummy bears are now also a food group.

I hope everyone is enjoying whatever their celebrations have to offer in the way of food, friends and family, and no guilt!

Weigh In Day

So how honest should I be? Here's my logic - I went to dinner last night, and then drank a glass of wine around 10:00 because we were having girl chat time. Which always makes me higher in the morning. So I specifically weighed myself yesterday to be my "true" weight. So there's the whole truth - I was up to 235.8 this morning, but was down to 235 even yesterday. Which is not a huge loss, but a miracle nonetheless, as my eating habits have not been stellar. So I'm taking 235 and running with it, baby. So there.

Made it!

Yay for small victories - I actually took The Ding for a walk last night, after the rain stopped. Albeit a short one, as the wind was howling and it was cold. We went for about 40 minutes - but I'm sure 34 of those were spent sniffing and peeing on everything. That's my boy, so classy.

However, my new friend at work brought me a plate of treats from his Mom - how cute is that? A very sweet gesture, but sooo tempting. Magic cookie bars, cherry white chocolate cookies, toffee and biscotti. Oof! Season's Eatings! I had 2 pieces of toffee and one biscotti and set the rest aside. Good girl! That only means I'll eat them later, mind you - but in slow normal amounts. Promise.

does walking to get an egg nog latte count as exercise?

Choices. I’ve got to make some tough ones this week. Mainly – when to exercise. I can’t go to the gym on Wednesday or Thursday evening this week, due to social engagements. So obviously, if I was smart, I would get up at 6 am each day and go before work. Because the wind and rain and 40 degree temperatures are so welcoming here in Seattle – my warm and cozy bed will seem like torture. Yeah, right. This is a quandary I expect many of us will be facing over the next couple of weeks. Traveling, feasting and imbibing come with December as sure as the cold does. There are only so many hours in the day – I have much to accomplish, and exercise is a priority for me, however, this week it may have to take a back seat. Here's my plan of attack: My work out buddy is unavailable to work out this evening, which automatically gave me a list of 12 reasons why I couldn’t go to the gym either. However, I’ve decided to give the dog a long walk tonight, which is also a long walk for me. It will be cold and rainy and miserable, but it’s something. Just doing something to feel in control is so important these days. My plan of attack also includes seriously staying within calorie guidelines when I can't exercise, because like Mel says, no cookie is worth being fat forever. Wish me luck! And good luck to you all!

Reason #837 to lose weight

Tonight I went to a baby shower for a coworker. She is due January 4th, and pre-pregnancy she is probably a lovely size 8 or 10. So the basketball that protrudes from her belly is pretty obvious, to most people. Her name also happens to be Sara. One of our coworkers (we'll call her Gretchen) came to the party, and brought her 2 daughters, one who is 4 years old. Gretchen explained to the 4 year old that my name was Sara as well as the pregnant lady, and won't that be easy to remember, there are 2 Saras. Her daughter nodded seriously, taking it all in. About 15 minutes later, there was a lull in the conversation, and the 4 year old piped up "Mommy, which Sara is having the baby?"

Everyone politely smiled and pointed to the other Sara and made comments that it was so apparent that that Sara was pregnant. No one said a word to me, so I had to bring it up later, as a joke, telling them I wanted to say "I'm working on it, honey, I'm working on it!" which allowed everyone to laugh a little. I just had to point it out - I don't like big elephants in the room. It is perfectly reasonable that this little girl honestly got confused and it had nothing to do with my body, but still, I think sometimes I'm just gonna have to be the fat girl in the room. Until I'm not, that is.

Weigh in Day

Well, color me pink! Tickled, that is. Today the scale saw 235.4! Apparently you can have a party with potato chips, peppermint bark, bacon and red wine and lose a little. I will never understand the science of weight loss. When I ate kale and white bean soup for a week straight trying to get to 50 pounds gone, nothing. This week, down 1.6. But the reality could be that because I indulged in forbidden fare, I compensated by reducing my calories at other meals. Who knows. I'll take it!

party girl

I used to have a roommate that wore dresses or skirts everyday. Literally, she didn't wear jeans unless she was in an extreme situation like camping. I loved that about her - I wanted to be like that. And that's one of my goals when I reach my goal weight, is to wear more dresses and skirts. How fabulously easy are they? You throw something over your head, and your done. No buttons and belts or pinched waists - easy peasy! I bought a ton of skirts for my honeymoon in Greece, and I loved walking around day and night in skirts and sandals on the island. So feminine and comfy!

The company holiday party is coming up in January and so I'm dreaming about dresses. I want something that says "Hey! I have a smaller waist this year!" without looking like I'm hoping to be crowned prom queen. Our company event is not very formal. We rent a room with a view of the skyline at a local waterfront restaurant, and enjoy the buffet and open bar and dance floor. Although, this year, my very aural Mr. Black has threatened to stay home since we will have the same DJ as last year, the man who didn't have any music recorded later than 1995. No, really.

But I digress. I discovered alight.com a few years ago when I bought this dress for my 30th birthday. I love this site because it is so refreshing to find plus size dresses that don't say "I'm so excited that my grandson is getting married!". Now I'm checking out this jobby for the party. It is sassy and red, but won't let my cleavage come tumbling out. I'm seeing a big chunky necklace and dangly earrings. However it only comes in a size 16 currently. I won't be a size 16 by January, I'm sure. But what if I got it anyway and just tried it on. Ooh, and then I found this one that I love for springtime. So I'm dress hunting. I'll definitely share what I find. Any tips are surely appreciated! I may have to put together a sassy shirt and skirt outfit. We'll see!

Down with stress eating!

So that was a rough couple of weeks. I feel so detached and like I have a lot of catching up to do - seeing what everyone has been eating and losing or gaining or thinking about. I'm coming, I promise! And I promise to post here again too. I am so lucky to have the friends in my life that I do.

Drunk co-worker has been given an ultimatum. Her excuse for smelling like alcohol was that she was on hormone therapy. Unless her hormone therapy involves copious amounts of Pinot Grigio, I think she has a drinking problem. So, HR has instructed her to get a note from a doctor or get enrolled in a treatment program by December 14th. She is really a sharp woman - even when she is drinking - so it is very sad that this problem is surfacing. But I can't continue to work with her with one ear to the ground, waiting for her to screw up, and trying to evaluate her work capacity each day. And what if she drives around like that? And her kids? I really hope she gets help. Luckily, my boss and HR are also concerned about she and I being able to work together in a healthy way, so I know I have their support. On the other hand, she is fascinating to watch. Who can drink wine all day and still function? Not I. Also, my husband stress has alleviated itself as well. Hooray!

In this stress salad that I've been marinating in, I had several days where I actually didn't feel like eating. Who, me? That is so not my style. And I actually got to a point where I felt nauseous from not having had anything to eat for several hours. But don't fret, my old overeating self was right behind my supermodel-esque appetite. I bought a bag of potato chips - and ate all but the one chip I offered to Katie. Oh I am a kind and generous soul, I know. Potato chips are a gateway food for me, man. They invite chocolate and ham and swiss sandwiches and french fries and my old friend peppermint bark over for a party and I'm too weak to say no. And before I know it, they are spending the night and we're all blissfully not counting calories.

But now I'm back and back on track. Will it always be this way, I wonder? Will I always have low fat waves followed by high fat ones? Like I always say, the biggest difference in my lifestyle now is being able to catch myself and put my feet back on the right path.

So I present to you - Super Easy Fajitas. Did you know that vegetarian refried beans are naturally lower in fat, and really low in weight watchers points - yay!

Super Easy Fajitas

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Juice from 2 limes
Juice from 1 lemon
2 TBS Taco seasoning - or 1 packet
1 TBS grill seasoning - or salt and pepper and garlic powder to taste
2 red peppers, sliced into strips
2 green peppers, sliced into strips
1 large red onion, sliced into strips
1 TBS olive oil
Your accouterments - tortillas, salsa, sour cream, avocado, cheese, what have you.

Slice chicken breasts into 1/4 inch strips, place in a bowl, or glass roasting pan. (This is so much easier if you do it while they are a little bit frozen) Combine citrus juices and seasoning, pour over chicken, and toss to combine. Allow to marinate for 2-3 hours - any more than 3 hours and you start "cooking" the chicken with the citrus juice. Freaky!

Heat olive oil over medium-high heat - toss in just the onions, saute until soft. Turn heat down to medium, add chicken and marinade. Saute for 7-10 minutes, stirring to cook evenly. Add peppers near the end of the chicken cooking time, and heat for 4 more minutes. Serve with your good stuff! Yummers.

Weigh In Day

Oh weigh day. How I love thee, but not so much today. I’m away from my trusty Tanita scale, so I’m going with what the guest scale saw, 237. I’m going the wrong way. But with the stress that’s in my life right now, losing weight is not really a big priority for me. I also ate a late dinner, which always tips the scale a bit. I’m exercising, which is good for stress relief, and I’m still aware of my portions, I’m just not going to stress about the numbers right now.

Today is our charity buffet at work. It’s a potluck, and then everyone pays $10 to eat, and we donate the proceeds to the Union Gospel Mission, a church that does a lot of good here in Seattle. Fabulous. By 10:00 am. I have already consumed 5 chunks of salami, 3 cubes of cheese, a pickle, 3 olives, 5 triscuits and my crustless quiche breakfast. What was that about watching portions?

merci

I’ve read that you cannot have room for anything else in your life until you are grateful for what you have. This makes sense to me. By sitting around lamenting what I don’t have, what is wrong with what I do have, and what is far too difficult for me to achieve, I will reinforce those feelings. They’ll become even more true than I currently think them to be. I think the same goes for positive thought.
So without further adieu, here is my current list of gratitude:

• My family who always take me in and give me love and support
• My girlfriends, the family I chose for myself, who shower me with love and support and who are always willing to circle the wagons when I cry SOS
• My job which allows me to be flexible with my schedule, pay a mortgage and has introduced me to a whole new crop of talented women and new friends
• My Dinger Dog who is the cutest, cuddliest, smartest and most annoyingly conniving pug on the planet
• My new circle of blog friends and community where I can ask for support
• My health which keeps me going and I take for granted in far too many ways
• My husband who has taught me many things
• Peppermint bark
• Cell phones
• The Internet
• Wine