I had an unbelievable morning. Awake at 3:30 AM, thanks to a restless dog. I couldn't fall back asleep. Isn't that the worst? So at 6 AM, I give up, and get ready for work. I am super early, so I think, I'll just drive to the bank and deposit that check I've been holding on to for a month. (Does anyone else do that? Hold on to checks since you're at the bank so rarely?) And I'll park on a side street, and hop the bus to work as per usual. So boring, right? But here comes the twist! As I am getting back into my car, the reliable Baby Lightning, my purse is in the crook of my left arm. As I'm sitting down, I'm doing my usual heave-purse-over-steering-wheel-into-passenger-seat maneuver. I hear a snap, but can't figure it out, so la di da, I buckle up and turn the car on and when I go to turn on my lights - holy crap the TURN SIGNAL is gone. Gone! My superwoman strength snapped it off. Arrgh! I am stunned.
So, I park, and like a moron, stick the arm back from whence it came. Voila! As I mess with it, the lights come on. Then I remember that I am leaving my car here, and I need the lights off. So I spend 20 minutes trying to get the lights off. No dice. And I can't ditch the car with lights burning, draining the battery. So I drive to the car mechanic. All the while trying to remember hand gestures to signal "Um, ha ha, I don't have any lights, so you can't see that I need to be in the right lane, but I do. Could you? Please?" Hilarious and awful.
At the mechanic's, they have to order the part. What? You don't keep these around for women with wayward purses? And they want me to come back when said part is in. I ask if they can get the lights off. So a guy with a cell phone pinned between his head and ear tries his best, with sad turn signal wand, he can't get it to work. So then he pulls out his very official tool - his personal car keys - and pries little things out from under the hood. Since he's on the phone, (but apparently just listening, I didn't hear him say anything. Perhaps it is a ploy to keep crazy tired ladies from harassing you while you poke their engine with your car keys.) we don't talk. Finally, once the keys have done their trick, the headlights go out. He turns to me in a weird pantomime of "See? I did it!" and I point to the parking lights that are still burning. He is dejected, and slumps back into the the front seat to try it with the broken turn signal. No dice. But the magical car keys! They are back out, and more prying, and miracle of miracles - the lights go out. Turns out he pulled out the fuses. He puts them into my palm, confirms I have brake lights, and sends me on my way.
So of course I'm late for work by now, and I know no one will believe my story. But they do, and concur that I need to leave work while it still daylight. So, I'm home safely, skipping water aerobics - but walking the dog so he can sleep through the bloody night!
Oh, Baby Lightning, you're going to be the death of me. This is all true. Pinkie swear.