The F Word

I am in a funk. There's just a general malaise - I guess I could call it depression, but it doesn't quite feel like that heavy. It is more like a general dissatisfaction with my life. I know I should be grateful for all I have, and that there are people in the world without caring families, friends, food and shelter and disease-free bodies. But sometimes a girl just gets down. I haven't wanted to focus on weight loss, I haven't wanted to cook anything spectacular, or socialize very much - which is very strange for me. I think I'm coming down from the high of having my husband return and the reunited bliss that ensued (lots of eating and snuggling) and then reality comes back in the form of trying to get into a new routine. I learned while my hubby was gone for 3 weeks that a) I really enjoy taking care of him, and b) that I want to spend more time at home with him and c) We watch too much TV. But I also want to exercise, and get out of the ding dang 220s already! (222.2 this morning, for reporting sake). But the effort to make both of these happen is not coming easily to me.

I have avoided posting anything here - and I am hesitant to publish this. It's not effective, interesting or insightful. It is just where I'm at. Here are some positives:
  • I have exercised two days in a row, and will again tonight
  • I have made a nutritious lunch and dinner for myself this week
  • I went shopping and got some cute new outfits
  • I have a beautiful pedicure
  • The sun is out!

I think I've lost my steam - it is not a struggle to do anything, but I am not excited about what I'm doing. I hope in the coming days I am able to shake myself out of these doldrums. Because really, it is ridiculous - I have so much potential.


Cammy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you're in a funk! I hate when that happens!

You don't sound ungrateful to me, just dissatisfied. Seeking something new, maybe?

MAJOR kudos to you for doing the right things even though you're not particularly enjoying them. Those are the toughest times of all. You should feel VERY proud of yourself for this! ('should' meaning, that's an order. :))

Hanlie said...

I hope you feel better soon! Exercise helps!

Lisa said...

I hope you get out of your funk soon. Like you said, you have so much potential. so much awaits you!

- Lisa

Heather said...

Im sorry that you feeling that way, but its probably pretty typical. I know I get that way too about my life and where I wish I would be. but at least you can focus on the positives because you do have some great positives, and I am sure that you will make it out of your funk. I know for me, it helps if I have something fun to look forward to like a trip, or some place I really want to go or a movie or something. then it doesnt feel like every day is exactly the same with nothing good to focus on.

Lady Vea said...

I can sympathize! I know you will get out of it soon, just try to hang in there and keep from losing sight of your goals. When you feel better, if you still have your eye on them, you will be ready to hit the ground running again.
to cheer you
my dear!