HYC Check In

I am so happy to report that today the scale was 223 - on the nose, baby. That's a 3 pound loss - (not counting last week's menstrual swelling) and I couldn't be more thrilled. This week I focused on keeping my calories between 1700 and 1900 - I was over on some days, but I kept my protein and fiber up. I definitely owe some of this to the spinning class, and the fact that I kept my energy up during my work outs. Determination! The best part was that I was able to have two social events that involved eating not so great food, and I emerged unscathed, satisfied and without guilt.

I also had a shining moment in Pilates this week. I've been taking that class once a week since February, and every week, I try to do a jack knife. And every week I heave and push and my legs go up, but my tush stays on the mat, and that's that. Last Thursday, I did it!! It was so exhilirating and I got a high five and a genuine "Good job, Sara. All right!" from the instructor. Yippee!

I feel like I'm starting over. I see that I've been sort of mamby-pamby since March, and this week has proved that I really have to watch my calories, and today makes it feel as though the effort was worth it. Why I can't remember this all the time, I'll never know. Today I'm wearing a skirt that is one size too small, (it was only $6 at the Goodwill!) and I don't need a slimming undergarment to do so. That's a rock star kind of feeling. Let's hope that this forthcoming week is successful as well! I wish everyone else good eats, good movement and good feelings.

HYC Check In

Time to check in again! This week was a little wonky, eating wise. I think it started with spending the weekend at my Mom’s house and then eating out Sunday evening, then returning to my regular schedule, but without having had the time to prepare my meals for lunch as I prefer. I’m learning that I crave the security of planning my meals. Which is odd, I think, because what is the big deal of going to the salad bar at lunch time, you know? I think I like knowing exactly what I’m eating and making the right choice. Then I had an additional two nights of eating out – and I had drinks at both. At least I made my exercise schedule, well, with the exception of the racquetball debacle. I’m staying off the scale until mid-July. A couple weeks after TOM is over and done with, and then I’ll be ready. I’m digging this weigh in schedule.

In other news, I went on a shopping trip this weekend and found 2 lovely dresses – both in a size 16! This is significant, being a former 26. Hooray for summer and smaller sizes!

My goal this next week is to not over-do the eating, prep my lunches and plan my dinners, and push my physical limits at the gym. Have a great week!

twenty-nine and five

Who's the worst blogger? Oh, I think it's me. I talked up my dress and then never showed anyone nuthin. I had the most wonderful birthday week. It was last Monday the 31st, and I've just had a nutty week ever since.

For my party, I made a reservation at a local pizza place because a) who doesn't like pizza? and b) it is affordable, and c) I don't have to do the dishes. Its a very casual place, but I was all dolled up. I started to feel insecure about it. Really irrational thoughts. What if all of my loving and caring friends walk in and see me trying to look pretty and they scoff and say well who the hell does she think she is? This is a jeans kind of night. So I decided to kick that doubt to curb, and my husband helped talk me down. Because if I'm turning 34, and I've worked very hard to lose 66 pounds, I have a right to wear a nice dress and snappy shoes on my birthday - even if the chances are high that I'll spill marinara all over them.

So without further ado...

I love, love, love that dress more than I can tell you. My hips aren't that narrow, they just appear to be, as my friend Spanx helped me out that night.

And look, my shoes match my red eyes!

I love these shoes! Ever the gracious hostess, I met every guest with a hug and then I would squeal "Look at my shoes!" It is interesting how I was nervous about calling attention to myself. I wanted to look hot, I wanted to feel pretty, and I did, but weird how even though I was walking into a room of love, I started having those second-guessing thoughts, as though I didn't deserve to look that way. Maybe it was just because I was at a casual place? Dunno, but my doubts were washed away soon enough. And I realize that posting these photos may be screaming "Compliment me!" "Tell me I look pretty!" - and you don't have to. I am proud of my losses so far, and I am proud of how I looked that night, and that's enough. You may however, compliment the shoes, because they are shiny patent leather and sassy!

I do regret that I drank a gluttonous amount of wine. For calorie sake, and for coherence sake. I woke up with a headache the next day. But I didn't embarrass myself (or so I've been told). However, I don't regret eating the birthday cake that one of my friends made me. Chocolate, with a dark chocolate and cognac buttercream. To. Die. For. It was so delicious!

On Sunday, my Mom took Mr. Black and I to the Glass Museum where we got to watch glass blowers in action - very cool. Then we had a fabulous meal at an Argentinian steak place. It was heavenly. The week prior to my birthday, my consultants wanted me to work on the weekend. Both days. I told them that Sunday was out of the question, and if they wanted me Saturday, I would be there in hot rollers, and fairly surly. I begged a co-worker of mine to fill in and she did. Phew! I had wanted to take the afternoon off on Monday, but we had major deadlines so I couldn't. I had joked that I wanted a parade if I was working on my birthday. (Yes, I am obnoxious about my birthday - it is my favorite day of the year) And then I felt like a jerk when one of my consultants brought in a balloon bouquet and hats and noisemakers, and arranged my team to parade past my desk. Oh, it was hilarious to see my nerdy math people being silly and so kind to me. I then felt terrible about complaining about working. Suffice it to say, I was spoiled rotten on Monday. I am a lucky, lucky girl. That evening I had dinner at a famed french restaurant, that was part of a promotion serving 3 courses for $30. And we ordered a separate starter, pomme frites a la canard - that's potatoes fried in duck fat, and served with aioli. It was fantastic, and worth every ounce I gained this week. I finished with my favorite dessert, creme brulee.

I came, I saw, I ate. I missed the HYC check in due to some other conflicts. And I haven't been commenting on other blogs as much as I would like to. Don't give up on me yet! I'm still in this thing. This week I'm having tabbouleh, pan-seared falafel and green salad for lunch this week. No more duck fat for me. That's what this whole lifestyle thing is about, yes? You indulge one evening, (or 5) and then you get back on the plan, man. That's all we can do.

Boobs, sizes and dresses, oh my!

How to make yourself feel better when the scale doesn't move.

1. Buy a new dress for your birthday party.
2. When it is 10 pounds too tight, ask your seamstress/work out buddy friend for advice.
3. When she says - "body shaper" - heed her advice and get thee to the Lane B
4. Find helpful sales woman who doesn't mind talking about your chubs
5. Have her measure you for a new plunging bra and discover that your band size is 6 inches smaller than it was 1.5 years ago. And, your cup size is still a D with a smaller band size. This should not matter to you, but it might.
6. Rejoice as you try on a couple of different bras and your saleswoman does not mind you pulling open your dress to say "I think the left one looks too squooshy, don't you?"
7. Hike up your Spanx and feel beautiful in your new dress.
8. Buy red patent shoes that make you feel a little sexy and like you might be too old to wear them, but you're doing it anyway.

The end.

motivation en rouge

Saturday I got the shopping fever. You know the symptoms, bored with your wardrobe, need something to celebrate some weight loss and the arrival of spring, and oh yes, your work out buddy mentions the 40% off sale at Lane Bryant. However, I am not allowing myself to buy new new clothes (even at 40% off) because I am determined to continue changing my size. So to appease my wanton shopper, I took myself to the Goodwill. And there I fell in love with my red dress. When I was a little girl and watched The Parent Trap 800 times, I thought Maureen O'Hara was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And that scene where the girls trick each of the parents into meeting for dinner, and she's wearing a midnight blue A-Line totally 1950's gown, well, swoon. So, this dress reminds me of her and that scene, as well as making me feel feminine and pretty. Because with your arm chubs pinched, and your love handles hanging out, it is best to feel feminine and pretty as well.

Even though the tag said the size was XL, I raced into the dressing room, hopeful and determined. Much like the first time you go to bed with your amour, no? Oh my lord, it does not fit. It does not even begin to fit. I can get it over my head, and put my arm through the perfectly cute cuffed sleeves, but I can't zip it, and the V-neck won't cover my breasts. So of course at $6.00 I bought it! I showed Mr. Black and he said "It's a goal dress." True enough! So the photo I have of it is on a hanger, to save some of my dignity. I don't know that I'll ever really fit into it, the fact that I can get it over my head is promising. It may be 2012 when I wear it, but luckily it is classic. This is a terrible picture, but it is a faux-wrap dress, with a long sash, with a v-neck. I wish I was one of those glamorous bloggers with a Nikon that captures every last dog hair that's probably coating my dress, but alas, I have a point and shoot.

Even more cause now to continue at Pilates, and exercise, yes? Yes! Thank you for listening to the saga of my new unwearable dress. I was really flattered to read such encouraging comments to show a photo. Tune in next week when I post about the hairdo I won't get, or the shoes that almost were.

It IS a Wonderful Life!

Merry Merry and Happy New Year!! I’m back home, full of good food – too full, if you know what I mean. Spending the week eating and playing board games is my ideal vacation with the Momma, so I’m literally fat and happy. I’m back on the healthy path today – and so far my body hasn’t gone into shock since it hasn’t had bacon in 48 hours. I still get a little surprised that I can revert to my indulgent self so easily. My Mom loves to cook for us, and always makes sure there are snacks in the house, and I fall back into that routine of eating whenever. Cheese and crackers at 11:30 PM? Yes! Chocolate at 11:30 AM? Why not? Of course, I was aware of what I was doing, although my only redeeming efforts were walking the dog a little and making sure to get in two fruits in the morning. Sometimes I think that this lifestyle change will be like recovering from an addiction. Those tendencies to overeat will always be there, and it is up to me to not fulfill the desire by completing the action. I had hoped that that part of my brain would be turned off, but nope, it is still there, clanging for pork products and cheese. I am what I am!

Mr. Black surprised me with many lovely gifts, but the most touching to me was that he bought me 2 shirts and a pair of PJs. Now, Mr. Black is not your typical gift giver. He is always creative and romantic, and often goes with a theme of your hobbies or interests. I love this about him. I had hinted loudly how delighted I would be if he bought me a nightie. Nothing trashy, but something feminine. And it worked! He said that he wasn’t sure what size I am currently, since I had such a range of sizes in my closet. They are one size too large, but I love them. Just picturing him looking through my closet and then being watched by salesclerks, the effort he took to get these gifts to me was significant. And it was nice that he acknowledged my changing body and complemented it with new things! Also in the top 5 list, I got my stove top grill (cast-iron, so it will double as resistance training) and immersion blender that I was hoping for – so grilled marinated veggies and pureed soups are in our future.

Tonight we’ll be having our annual Craptastic White Elephant New Year’s Eve gift exchange. A bunch of friends come over, and bring the worst thing they can think of from their home. It’s gift wrapped, and then usual White Elephant rules apply. Truly horrific things come out – it is fantastic! I’m all about the funny so the more awful, the more funny, in my book. Last year, a bag-o-hair from a thrift store came out. Horrific and hilarious, I tell you. Luckily, the hair was thrown away, so it won't be reappearing this year. Who gives a bag of hair to a thrift store? And why did the thrift store put it out for purchase?

Did anyone else see the commercial with Valerie Bertinelli and how she is thrilled that this year will be the first year she wakes up on New Year's Day not thinking about her weight? That will be a wonderful day indeed. She got teary eyed and I did too. So happy New Year to you – I’m back in 2008 with goals and recipes and maybe even some resolutions.

party girl

I used to have a roommate that wore dresses or skirts everyday. Literally, she didn't wear jeans unless she was in an extreme situation like camping. I loved that about her - I wanted to be like that. And that's one of my goals when I reach my goal weight, is to wear more dresses and skirts. How fabulously easy are they? You throw something over your head, and your done. No buttons and belts or pinched waists - easy peasy! I bought a ton of skirts for my honeymoon in Greece, and I loved walking around day and night in skirts and sandals on the island. So feminine and comfy!

The company holiday party is coming up in January and so I'm dreaming about dresses. I want something that says "Hey! I have a smaller waist this year!" without looking like I'm hoping to be crowned prom queen. Our company event is not very formal. We rent a room with a view of the skyline at a local waterfront restaurant, and enjoy the buffet and open bar and dance floor. Although, this year, my very aural Mr. Black has threatened to stay home since we will have the same DJ as last year, the man who didn't have any music recorded later than 1995. No, really.

But I digress. I discovered alight.com a few years ago when I bought this dress for my 30th birthday. I love this site because it is so refreshing to find plus size dresses that don't say "I'm so excited that my grandson is getting married!". Now I'm checking out this jobby for the party. It is sassy and red, but won't let my cleavage come tumbling out. I'm seeing a big chunky necklace and dangly earrings. However it only comes in a size 16 currently. I won't be a size 16 by January, I'm sure. But what if I got it anyway and just tried it on. Ooh, and then I found this one that I love for springtime. So I'm dress hunting. I'll definitely share what I find. Any tips are surely appreciated! I may have to put together a sassy shirt and skirt outfit. We'll see!