HYC Check In

I have been thinking about blogging a lot - I have posts in my brain that start, then get dissolved in daily life and other priorities. However, today I post a weigh-in. You can't tell that I've lost the 4 pounds I put on over the holiday weekend and then promptly flew to Denver to visit friends and had wine every night with no exercise. But I did! They're gone again. So, today I am up a tiny bit to 216.4. I touched down at 215.8 on Saturday, but then promptly took myself to a food festival. Greek! It was delicious, and worth every ounce I am now carrying.

I am starting to wonder if my obsession with what the scale says is detrimental. I was so mindful this week - not just putting stuff in my mouth willy-nilly without thinking about what I'm truly eating. That's worthwhile, and I was talking to some friends about how I keep getting frustrated with what the scale does, and how I have this ideal that I either weigh 165 and be a size 24, or else weigh 450 pounds, as long as I'm a size 12, and neither the 2 shall meet. BUT - I am fitter and stronger than I have ever been in my ding dang life, I am full of good foods and good intentions. Again, I need to release myself from the guilt and feeling of failure. Obviously, my body is really, really happy at 216.4. I don't know if I can ever let go of the idea of weighing less than 200 pounds, and hitting that 100 pound loss mark, but I'm starting to consider it. Also, weighing a little more after I had a spectacular week of good eating and great exercise, means that I am not as upset as I could be, knowing that I didn't spend the week eating cheese and chocolate.

In the last few weeks being full of travel and busy work stuff, I haven't been around to support some other bloggers - I apologize - I'll try to make up for lost time soon.

HYC Check In

Guess who lost 1.4 this week? It's me! I put on my big girl pants and took the suggestion of allowing sugar on the weekend only. Oh man, I feel good. The next 2 weeks are going to be challenging, as its the holiday weekend, which will involve no gym activity and lots of sitting around with family. And then I'm traveling - so it will be imperative that I really focus on what I put in my mouth. If this week proves anything, it is that the vigilance is worth it. I read a quote in an article once - and I think it was about a former Biggest Loser contestant who said that losing weight is 90% about what you put in your mouth. I'm starting to think that it might be 98%. Happy holiday weekend to everyone!

Zumba!

My dear friend is a dancer, and she recently said she wanted to take a Zumba class together. Enthusiastically, I said yes. And went to work to find a class that fit our schedules. Last evening, I decided to try a class on my own at the YMCA just to see what it is like. Oh my gosh. I don't care who you are - when the teacher tells you to swivel your hips, then jump to the side and clap and then salsa, you can't help but feel like you're a superstar dancer in a chorus line. And feminine! I was hot - and not in a h-o-t-t way, in a red tomato face way, super duper sweaty and kind of confused. Positives about the class - it is definitely fun, engaging, heart-rate raising, and you can choose how much effort you expend. The negatives - when no one explains the moves in advance of doing them, it is very difficult to follow - but I kind of have these special cement feet that don't move unless they know EXACTLY where to go. When it is the last 5 minutes before cool-down and the instructor does a ramp-up super cardio carnival song, and you are feeling kind of exhausted, you can't really set your own pace and perhaps meander to the left instead of salsa-ing, because if you do, your right-hand neighbor will crash into you. I aimed for keeping moving, when I couldn't figure out what to do exactly. I also can't hold my abdomen in when shaking my bust and hips at the same time - brain overload. Also, this is strange, but it made me feel very feminine - moving your body to music is very liberating! It was so fun to try something new for exercise - I'm looking forward to more classes. And note to self - get Mr. Black to take me dancing!

I'm still keeping the name

When I was 11 or 12 or so, I decided that if I was going to be a fashion designer, my company name would be TriSaratops - like Try Sara's Tops - get it? I thought I was so clever. When naming this blog - I imagined my weight loss journey would take 2 years, max. (Hi old dreams - nice to see you again.) I would reach my healthy weight and then I would continue to blog about other things, so I wanted a name that wasn't only about weight loss. So I came back to my old favorite, Trisaratops. Now the super smart and annoying scientists at Montana State University have declared that there is no such thing as a Triceratops dinosaur! It is only a very young version of a Torosaurus. There is nothing cute about the name Torosaurus. Unless, I guess your name was Toro. Which mine is not. Boo.

HYC Check In Week 34

Every time I fired up Blogger to post this today, I quickly made myself get distracted with something else. I am failing. Again. My weekend was not sugar-free, but it was booze free. Baby steps, yes? I exercised, I ate pretty well, although I am terrible about tracking my calories on the weekends, and supplemented everything with sugar. I keep thinking I deserve to eat what I want. This is embarrassing. I know what to do, I just need to figure out why I'm not doing it.

HYC Check In

You know what is wonderful? The Internet! I put out my struggles and specific issues and in return I get a big heaping pile of support. Thanks to Cammy, Chibi, Twix and MargieAnn for your encouragement. It's just what I need. I am ready to cut out the crap. No, really. I had a dismal week in terms of eating and exercise - book club, baby shower, and a concert. I had potato chips twice, and only exercised 2 days. However, the scale is the same today as it was last week. What a relief. Its like a stay of execution!

Here's my meal plan this week. I'm sticking to it!

Breakfast - Lowfat plain yogurt, blueberries, FiberOne cereal
Morningstar Farms soy sausage
Coffee with cream

Lunch - French Barley salad (recipe here)
Half cup 2% cottage cheese

Dinner - Lima bean, corn and greens succotash
Tamale or grilled chicken, salsa

Snacks - cherries, plums, apple with peanut butter, hummus and pita

Tasty and doable, yes? Onward to a better week!

HYC Check In

Today I am 217.6. Up a pound. The simple truth is that I can't get it together. I remember when I first started and it was a challenge and exciting to not eat sugar and less fat. Isn't this fun? I'm losing weight! No sir, no bagels for breakfast for me, I'm eating fruit! And yogurt! Oh, and I just weighed my 1 ounce of cheese. It's so cute.

But now I'm a woman who has lost all commitment. Motivation? I've got it. (fertility, health, beauty) Tools to use? I know them all. Cooking skills? I can steam a veggie like nobody's business. And come up with wacky things that only taste good to me. Budget? Yes - I can afford both my gym membership, and weekly purchasing of organic produce. So what's the problem? I don't know. The only thing I can point to is the commitment. Committing to NOT doing stuff. Not putting the following in my body:

• Sugar
• Alcohol

Really, those are the only 2 I struggle with. And every time I put those up there, I think everyone who reads that doesn't know me in real life is going to think I walk around with a wine bottle in my purse. I think focusing on the NOT is also a negative way to approach it. I should focus on committing to only eating the meals I plan. No extras. I'm reading Geneen Roth's Women, Food, and God to find out some other whys and hows. Current reaction: uncomfortable. She touches on some nerves, boy howdy. Operation lose a pound a week, I mean, committing to eating only what is healthful, is on. I think. If I can get it together.